Your Life. Your Responsibility. Period.
“YOU are responsible for your life – PERIOD” … Ooof. That’s a tough lesson for people to really take on. And… I think it’s one of the biggest barriers stopping people from living the life they actually want.
Truly, this is one of the most challenging lessons for people to accept: if I’m solely responsible for my life that means I’m responsible for both the good AND the not so good stuff.
Consider that everything – and I mean EVERYTHING – you have in your life RIGHT NOW is a direct result of choices you’ve made in the past.
- The thing you did that you didn’t want to
- The situations that didn’t feel like you had a choice
- The times you did nothing
- The times you said ‘I’ll deal with it tomorrow’
I know… it’s a tough one to wrap your head around sometimes. They’ve all been YOUR choices… even if they didn’t seem like choices at the time!
100% Responsible = 100% Empowered
For those of you thinking: “How could I be responsible for _____! No way!! That happened because of ________!!” The truth of the matter is, if you go back far enough you (9.9 times out of 10) can link it back to a choice you made, an action you took, or an action you didn’t take.
Everything you have in your life, from finances to fitness to friendships, is all a result of the choices you’ve made and ensuing actions you’ve taken or haven’t.
- Your family life
- Your relationships with friends
- Your intimate relationship (or lack there of)
- The way people see you
- The expectations people have of you
- The way people share with you (or don’t), include you (or don’t), invite you (or don’t)….
And the list goes on and on…
EVERYTHING you have in your life (or don’t) is a direct result of choices you’ve made in your life up until now.
Stop and look at your life for a moment…
How satisfied are you with what you’ve got (or haven’t!)?
At this point, some of you will be feeling totally empowered while others of you will be feeling pretty disempowered because you’re judging yourselves for the things you see as bad choices or failures.
If you’re judging yourself, STOP IT!
The judgment doesn’t change any of the results. It just leaves you feeling crappy about yourself for things you can’t change. How about this: let’s look at what you can do differently next time?!
That’s a WAY more effective perspective and tool to take on. Because the cool part about this is you get to be responsible for ALL of it! Not just the stuff that’s no working so well but all the great stuff too!
All of the positive things that you’ve got going on in your life right now are because of things you did to cause it to happen!
All of the stuff you’ve got happening in your life right now that’s not really workin’ for you is thankfully within your power to change! Great news right!!??
In order to shift your perspective from so-so to feeling empowered about being fully responsible for your life, let’s start here:
First: take a moment and make a list of all the AWESOME stuff you have in your world right now! ALL OF IT!! The big stuff and the little stuff, even the stuff that seems insignificant or like ‘I should be doing more’ – write that down too. Anywhere in your life that you’ve made a stride or a baby step towards something for yourself – put it on the list!
We human beings deny ourselves the opportunity to celebrate way too much. Don’t deny yourself that here! Seriously… take a moment and look at the great things you’ve got going on in your life!!
YOU CREATED THAT!!!!
You need to take a moment to acknowledge yourself for that. Really. You do. Do that right now.
Done? Ok. Then we get to look at the other side of things.
Now make a list of what’s not working, the stuff you want to change about your life. Notice the areas of your life that aren’t working so well; maybe you have some relationships that aren’t firing on all cylinders? Or your finances aren’t where you want them to be? Or the job you’re in isn’t the one that fulfills you…
Be careful to keep yourself out of the vortex-of-brutal-judgment here… It’s easy to slip into and it won’t get you anywhere. Remember, all the stuff you’re judging yourself for has already happened – you can’t change that. The best you can do (and you always want to do your best don’t you?) is to look at what you can and will do differently next time.
Sometimes that would be standing up for yourself or drawing a boundary right in the moment. Sometimes it’s following your intuition or inner-knowing WAY earlier in the game so you don’t end up in a compromising position later on. Sometimes it’s having to resist the urge to sabotage in the moment because you know that you really deserve what you say you want and are committed to.
Regardless, the great news is that YOU have the power to deal with the stuff that isn’t working for you right now. No matter what the situation, ONLY YOU have the power to change it.
YES YOU CAN!! You’re worth it 🙂
If you’re looking to make some changes in your life but you’re having trouble figuring out where to start, maybe we should chat. Sometimes an objective observer can make all the difference in the world in helping you get things on track – essentially support you in taking your foot off the brake and punch the accelerator of your life!! Let’s book a free consult today!
Until next time ,
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