No One Can Do Your Pushups For You
“How do I do that?”
“How do I make a change like that?”
“How do I stick to it?”
You get the idea… People want to make change in their life but they feel like they don’t know how. I think that’s BS. I think we know how, we’re just afraid of digging in and doing the work. We’re afraid of failing and looking foolish. We’re also afraid of being successful… Huh?
Because if we were successful that would be new and uncharted territory, the territory of change, and that always makes us human beings feel uneasy.
Feeling uneasy = feeling uncertain = feeling out of control…
And feeling out of control is generally something we all tend to avoid at any cost.
Here’s the thing, if you want your life to be different in the future than it is now, you’re going to have to make some changes. That’s a simple fact. If you don’t make changes, your life will be very similar in the future to what it is right now. If you make changes in your life now, those changes will be reflected in your future. That’s basic logic so I’m not going to waste time blabbering about that.
Where I do want to point you, however, is in regards to our tendency to hide behind the “I don’t know how” statement in an effort to avoid feeling the uneasy, uncertain, and out of control feelings that come with change.
That’s right. Any time there is a ‘how’ question being asked, it’s quite likely you’re avoiding being responsible for taking actions that will create change.
Think about it. You want to lose weight. I bet if you were put in an interrogation room with a gun to your head, you’d be able to make a general list of steps you’d need to take to effectively lose weight… but does that have you take the steps? No.
Even if you don’t have the answer at the tip of your fingers, I bet if you looked into your network of people there would be someone out there that would be able to direct you in how to do whatever it is you want to do. If you don’t have an expert in your network, there’s this amazing thing on-the-line called Google that can connect you with a gazillion how-to videos about anything. Even better this amazing technology Google can connect you with lists of resources and experts you could enlist to explain how to do the thing that’s got you stumped.
The HOW is never the problem. It’s a smokescreen we use to avoid being responsible for making the changes necessary to live the life we want to:
- “I want to be happier but I don’t know how to be happier.”
- “I want to be more fulfilled but I don’t know what I want to do with my life or how to figure that out.”
- “I want a great relationship but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or how to attract one into my life.”
- “I want to fix my current relationship but I don’t know how.”
The how answers are generally simple:
- Stop doing and focusing on the stuff that makes you unhappy and start focusing on and doing more of the stuff that makes you happy. Complete your past (forgive and let go of what keeps you stuck and accept that your life is the way it is right now) and change your perspective about what’s possible in the future.
- What fulfills you? Do more of that. Create more opportunities for that to exist in your life. Recognize that you put obstacles in your way that prevent you from being able to do more of what fulfills you, stop doing that.
- Deal with your past hurts and limiting beliefs about what you deserve. Start doing things you love and being conscious about the people you invite into your life. Create a great relationship with yourself first.
- All effective relationships require that you’re honest so you’re going to have to bite the bullet and tell the truth. Take responsibility for where you’ve been playing a small/ petty game and clean up the mess that’s made.
The trouble comes with YOU having to take the steps, to take the action, to make the call, to tell the truth, to even discover the truth! That’s uncomfortable and that’s what stops people from taking on their lives. And it’s way easier to hide behind “I don’t know how” than it is to admit “I’m afraid”…
So I’m here to tell you: You deserve to have the life and love that you long for! You really do. And it’s within reach if you want it. The first step to getting there will be admitting to yourself that you’re hiding behind the “how”. Once you’ve admitted that the rest will be easier to get on with.
So what are you saying you don’t know how to do? What are you actually avoiding dealing with? Get honest with yourself and start there.
PS – If you’re wondering what’s involved in getting 1:1 support from me on your own journey, whether it’s making some changes in your life or something else, hit reply and let’s schedule a free initial consult. I still have a couple of spots available for new clients and I’m really excited about helping you dig in and get dirty!
It’s a FREE consult – what have you got to lose?! 😉
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