You Don’t Have To Make It Harder For Yourself
Do you ever find yourself wondering if ‘it’ll happen for you’? If you’re ever going to get the things in life you want? If it will ever get easier?
I have a theory about all of that which seems to be beneficial to those that I’ve shared it with, although I’m sure it’s not for everyone.
Hard truth time: Life is hard.
It takes work and effort to live it successfully – whatever your idea of success is.
Unfortunately, in today’s society, the idea of work and effort is balked at in search of the quick solution: 21-Day miracle diets, network marketing get-rich-with-limited-effort businesses, world-rocking-weekend seminars that are supposed to change your life and leave you ‘fixed’ by the end of them… and I don’t believe in any of it.
I believe all of those things can be helpful or even successful, but not in the ‘quick and easy’ way they’re often presented to the masses. You ask anyone who has any level of success with any of those things and they’ll tell you how much work – conscious and committed time and effort – they put in to get there.
It’s a fact of life whether you like it or not. No matter how much you try to distract yourself with easy options or fill up the void inside yourself with ‘stuff’ you’ll only keep going in circles, wondering why your life isn’t the way you want it to be.
Are you ready to get off the hamster wheel?
Here’s the thing, well what I believe anyway… You’re sent here to learn a lesson. You have a life lesson to learn – we all do – it’s like the karmic purpose for us to be here. It’s usually some form of learning for the average human to begin to truly believe:
- ‘I’m worth it’
- ‘I’m good enough’ (or simply I’m enough)
- ‘I’m deserving’ (of happiness, love, success, peace, etc.)
And you have a choice about how easily or how challenging it is to learn your version of that lesson. Every choice you make and action you take leads you towards living your life lesson (I.E. “I’m enough”) or pulls you away from it.
Let me explain:
In order to really learn that lesson, you have to start out waaaaaaay at the other end of the spectrum, deep in a belief about ‘I’m not those things’. Just stop and think about all the ways your versions of ‘I’m NOT worth it’/ ‘I’m NOT enough’/ ‘I’m NOT deserving of an awesome life’ show up in your life currently… I’ll wait… can you see some of them? Consider you might just be scratching the surface.
Every time you: people-please, diminish your worth or feelings in any way, compromise your values or integrity, say yes when you mean no, associate with people who bring you down instead of lift you up, etc. etc. etc. you are pulling yourself away from learning your life lesson with ease.
Ok good. Then we can start looking at what you can do about it.
Let’s start at the beginning:
You came here with a purpose for being here, and it’s all tied up in your life lesson. The cool thing is that everything out there conspired to set you up to make sure you had a good chance to learn the lesson… The family you landed in (if you look closely) is likely the first place you really started to learn the opposite of your lesson.
Every time Dad or Mom didn’t do something or let you down, or you weren’t the priority, you were unconsciously collecting all kinds of proof and evidence to stack up against the life lesson. Proof you weren’t worth it/ enough/ deserving. Because if you were ‘enough’ they’d have been what you needed them to be… You’re put into a family that will ensure you learn the opposite of the lesson in varying ways, in other words: learn that you’re not worth it/ enough/ deserving.
After about the first five years of your life – give or take – you get to start picking what happens. At first, you pick stuff that is in alignment with the opposite of the lesson, meaning things that continue to have you believe ‘not good enough’ etc. You know: fighting with your siblings and getting in trouble, not studying and then failing, trying too hard to be something you’re not, choosing to hang out with the ‘wrong’ crowd, succumbing to peer pressure, etc. etc. etc. Basically, anything that will put you in a position of feeling ‘less than’… and the options and gravity of the results only get bigger and broader as you get older.
Regardless, you get a lot of chances over your lifetime to make choices that will ensure you’re really going to have a lot to learn – or life would just be too easy and boring. And of course we humans don’t like boring!! We thrive on drama! Especially at this stage of our development! Because when drama happens and people listen we feel important and like we matter – but it’s fleeting.
You go through a lot of your life following this pattern. In my experience, it’s usually into the early 30’s for most women and mid 30’s for most men before they start to get sick of the way they’ve been doing things and look for a different way to live life.
Basically, at some point, you start to wake up and you see that you have a choice about what actions you take and what you believe. Ah yes – personal responsibility!! A key factor in having ANY level of happiness and love in your life.
Unfortunately, most of the time in the beginning of this stage, you don’t believe anything else is possible; that any other ‘way of being’ or thought process is possible… so you keep doing the same stuff over and over but now you get mad at the universe about why your life is shit.
But here’s the truth: YOU are responsible for your life – NO ONE else is!
What if the deal is that all the things happening in your life which cause drama and upset are a result of decisions you made (in the recent or not so recent past) that were consistent with continuing to push you down the rabbit hole of the opposite of your life lesson? Pushing you further down the hole of ‘not worth it’ / ‘not enough’ / ‘not deserving’?
If that were the case (and you know it is) and you took responsibility for that, then you also get to see that you have a choice to make a different decision.
What if you have a choice in how you see things?
What if it’s simply a matter of whether you’re ready to go the other way and start to learn the lesson of ‘I’m worth it’ / ‘I’m enough’ / ‘I’m deserving’?
And what if all the hard results you have in your life are actually the ‘easiest’ or ‘lightest’ version of the possible results you could have had? What if the universe was trying to take it as easy on you as possible? What if the crap results you have are the easiest or the lightest possible ‘sentence’ based on all the possible results you could have had because of the choices you’ve made so far?
Whoa right?? Your life could be A LOT worse than it is…
Stop and think about it. There are some good things that have happened lately too. Really. Even the little things count…. And if you think about the crappy things, I bet you can see how they could have been worse and they aren’t. Think of it like Cosmic Karma.
You still with me?
Of course you feel fear! That’s the normal dream-killer-culprit for most of us…
What if you gave that up? If you weren’t afraid, what would you do? And not like: ‘how would you make it happen?’ – that’s more fear based BS you need to stop living in if you want to learn your lesson so you can live on purpose and actually feel the joy you deserve to feel!!
Ok. Ok. I get it. This is radical and hard – maybe even a little (or a lot) confronting. If it is – good. You need to hear it and you’re ready. Your reaction is an indication of where you are in this process.
If you’re ready for something new, here’s the secret to making life easier for yourself – try this out:
If you weren’t afraid…
What thoughts would you be thinking? Would you pay more attention to what’s possible instead of what you’re not capable of doing? Would you consider creative solutions? Would you think about who might be able to help and then ask for help?
How would you be being? I mean in the world every day – would you be being excited? Courageous? Loving? Happy? Generous with yourself to the world? HOW WOULD YOU BE BEING?
And how would you be feeling? What would your mindset for your life be? Would you be trusting? Faithful? Curious about what’s possible? Believing in abundance for yourself and your life because YOU DESERVE IT??????
I’ll tell you what: you go and take some time (a week?) to mull this over. Think about it. See what resonates. If something does, let’s talk…
Cuz you know what? It’s time. It’s time for you to stop wallowing in how hard things are or how you don’t have the life you say you want. Stop dwelling in the past because you can’t change it. All you have power over are the choices you make from this point forward. It’s time to DO something about it. Action baby! It’s the only solution.
How’re You Doing?
I love hearing from my readers! If this was interesting, helpful, or hit home, feel free to leave a comment below or contact me privately!
Not yet part of the blog notification list and you want more great articles like this? CLICK HERE to get on the weekly mailing list! No spam or crappy-crap-crap either – I promise!! Just a once a week dose of truth to keep you focused and on track in your life and the relationships that matter most to you 🙂
Spread The Word:
Don’t hesitate to forward this to a friend or share on your favourite social media platform or forward to a friend by clicking the buttons below! Share the knowledge!