Stop Settling For Half-Assed!
Recently I was put in a position where I had to make a choice. I wanted something that wasn’t actually available (a relationship)… a version of what I wanted was available (a relaxed and non-committal relationship) but not the actual thing I wanted (a committed relationship.)
In the past what I’ve done is pretended I didn’t know it wasn’t available, or pretended I could be satisfied with what was available — pretended I didn’t know the type of relationship I was looking for wasn’t available, that we were on the same page just taking our time working towards a committed relationship or pretended (to myself and the other person) that I was fine with the lack of commitment and clarity.
Basically, in the past I’ve tried to coerce, control, and manipulate the situation to make it work out in my favour or just lived in the world of denial and self-sabotage pretending I was fine.
This time I chose me.
It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t comfortable.
And it was totally worth it!
I think we often end up in situations where we don’t feel like we have a choice – like we have to take what we can get or compromise and settle. It doesn’t matter whether you’re talking about relationships, money, sex, friendship, family, career…. even a new car! It really makes no difference.
The thing is you’re worth so much more than a compromise. You deserve MORE than to settle…
But the hard truth is, if you’re not going to settle, you’re going to have to do some work. Choosing you instead of choosing to settle requires that you believe in yourself and your worth. It requires that you trust you deserve something more than what you’ve had in the past.
Choosing you requires that you step outside your comfort zone, into the space of the unknown and uncertain. Choosing you, standing up for yourself, requires that you ‘blindly trust’ or have faith in something you have no direct control over. If you wont take the risk and stand up for you and what you deserve then why should anyone or anything else?
Choosing you requires that you put in the work. It requires that you are willing to put in the time and effort to make whatever it is you want, happen. If you want something, it’s gotta be you that gets out there and grabs it!
Choosing you will require that you say no to things. Choosing you will require that you identify the things in your life you’re not okay with – which situations don’t work for you. Choosing you will also require that you empower yourself to say which things aren’t okay – that you have the right to declare that.
Choosing you will require that you to say no to some things… And in saying no there will be consequences.
You may have to take a risk without a known outcome. You may have to hurt some feelings and break some relationships. You may have to go without for a period of time before you experience abundance. You won’t know what it is you have to face until you get there…
And I’m telling you it’s worth it.
You see, you really deserve to live the life you dream of… And if you’ve never allowed yourself to dream it’s because you think you don’t deserve it. I’m here to tell you that you do. We’ve all heard it before: if you want something different you’re going to have to do something different to get different results. And that’s scary.
We thrive on comfort and familiar. We abhor different, unfamiliar, and therefore scary new territory. Basically we avoid it like the plague.
But here’s the truth:
- If I want a different future in my intimate relationships, I’m going to have to do different things that create different patterns and thought processes in order to create that. That’s going to feel uncomfortable.
- If I want a different future in my work life, I’m going to have to knock on different doors, asking different questions, take different actions, do different things in order to get different results. That’s a logical and simple fact.
- If I want to have different results with my finances I’m going to have to do different things to get different results. Make different choices that create different outcomes… and in the moment when I really want something that’s not serving the outcome I’m aiming for, I’m going to have to say ‘No’ and that will be tough.
- If I want to have different results with my health and fitness I’m going to have to seek out new and different ways of eating and exercising in order to create a different outcome for myself. I’m going to have to get a new plan, take new actions, and create new rigor around my effort if I want to reach my goals.
That’s all there is to it. Simple. To the point. Logical…
So here’s what I want to tell you: you deserve the life you dream of. It doesn’t exist inside the current reality you live in. Getting what you want in life isn’t easy. That’s not the point. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. If you want to bring what you dream of to life, you will have to take a risk on yourself.
Who better to take a risk on than yourself? I think you’re worth it, don’t you?
Until next time ,
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